The Loki Equation
by Spiesinthedark
Summary: Odd things start to happen to a fanfiction lover...
1. Part 1

Part 1

"THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!" I shrieked at my laptop, smacking my hands on the table. "Dammit! I can't even do this anymore. I'm done. Forever."

My roommate poked her head around the corner of the kitchen, into the living room where I was parked on my butt at the coffee table. "Reading fanfics again?" she asked me. When I groaned in response, she said "If you don't like them, don't read them."

"I caaaaannnnntttt" I whined. "They're addictive. Just not realistic."

"They aren't supposed to be realistic." she said, her head disappearing back around the corner. I heard her go back to the dishes she was washing.

I knew she was right. Mary was always right. But I couldn't help it. The stories captivated me. Seeing characters and plot lines from the viewpoint of fans was enthralling. A glimpse not only into their own lives but into their imaginations too. And since I lived mostly in imaginary worlds, I loved fanfics.

The only problem was the lovey-dovey thing.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY MEET OUT OF NOWHERE FOR NO REASON AND FALL IN LOVE? IS THAT ALL THERE IS? WHERE'S THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?

Aghh. I was driving myself insane. I closed my laptop and sat back against the couch, rubbing my eyes with my fingers. I'd had enough for the day. I puttered into the kitchen instead, hopped up to sit on the counter, and watched Mary finish the dishes.

"What fandom was it today?" she asked.

"Loki."

She smiled. "Your favorite. You're seriously obsessed."

"I know" I said, "But I just have a hard time believing that he shows up out of nowhere and falls in love with mortals and makes them queens or concubines and whatnot. That's just so…predictable."

Mary looked up at me, her eyebrows coming together with an almost audible click. "Loki's not real, Rachael. You can't predict the personality of a fictional character."

"Shut up. I know he's not real. I'm just saying…"

"Yeah, well, stop 'just saying' and help me dry these" she said, cutting me off and handing me a towel.

"Yes ma'am."

….

Later that night I wiggled into my workout pants and tank top, slipped on my sneakers, and headed outside into the dark. I liked to walk my neighborhood at night, where I could unwind without being bothered. Tonight there was a storm rolling in, so a chilly wind cut through the heat leftover from the baking-hot afternoon. Storm clouds were coming, and I could make out the faint sound of thunder, still pretty far away.

I set off, letting my muscles unwind and my mind relax.

One thought still nagged at me, though. The Loki thing. The trickster god. Handsome bastard. Lady killer. Apparently rough sexual lover, according to majority of the fanfics that I read.

Ugh, it didn't make sense. Why would Loki ALWAYS want to dominate his lovers, if he even had any? I had a hard time believing that someone so emotionally fragile could even bring himself to HAVE lovers, let alone completely rough them up to the point of being classified as dangerous.

To each author, his own, I supposed.

My mind began to drift, constructing my own version of the God of Mischief.

"He would be shy." I said to myself. "Maybe not shy, but not forward. A fly on the wall. Seeing everything and watching everything. Always calculating the best move. Yes. That's what Loki would do. Why throw himself into a situation where he couldn't control the odds? He wouldn't. Exactly."

At this point, I was talking out loud. It didn't matter. The streets were deserted anyway, everyone tucked into their houses for the night. I was alone. Talking to myself. Yeah. Totally normal.

"If Loki took a lover, I bet he would move very slowly at first. Testing the waters. He can't predict a person's actions completely, especially a total stranger. He would have had to either watch them extensively beforehand, or trust his senses and dive right in…."

I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that almost missed the slight movement off to my left. A stirring of shadows.

There was someone leaning against the tree, arms crossed. Watching me.

I froze. Time stopped…..

Then the adrenaline kick-started my heart again.

I bolted away, the surge of energy making me run faster than I ever had before. It took me what seemed like mere seconds to reach my apartment building. I flew up the stairs and through my door on the second floor, slamming it behind me and locking it tight before slumping to the floor.

Mary whipped out of her room to kneel next to me.

"What the hell happened? Rachael, are you okay? What happened?" she said, holding my shoulders and looking me in the eyes, worried.

"Fine..fine. Just got scared by some freako" I wheezed, trying to catch my breath.

Mary got me a glass of water and herded me into my room, making sure I was okay before she went back to whatever she had been doing before I scared the bejezzus out of her.

I sat by my window the rest of night, waiting to see if whoever had been watching me would walk by the apartment.

No one did, and I fell asleep to the sound of the starting downpour.

-To be Continued


	2. Part 2

The Loki Equation- Part 2

It had been almost two weeks since I had been scared shitless in the dark by a freako who was watching me. To be honest, I don't scare easy. The fact that someone had been able to sneak past my usually sharp awareness had rattled me to the core. But I like brownies, and not being able to exercise them off was really doing a number on me. I had to get my space back. No more scared-Rachael. Hardcore Rachael face was on.

That Sunday, I climbed into my beaten down Nissan and drove to the flea market. This sprawling maze of alleys and stalls and hidey-holes were a goldmine for knockoff purses, dvds, shoes, electronics, exotic pets, and foreign food. There was a really good gumbo stall hidden somewhere, but I could never find it if I was actually looking for it. Best to just accidentally stumble upon things like that. Thankfully, my actual destination wasn't hard to find. It was tucked in a corner near the center of the market. A weapon stall.

The owner didn't speak English, but when I tapped my fingernail on the case of knives and pointed to myself, he seemed to perfectly understand what I wanted and why I needed it. He looked over my hand (measuring it maybe?) and dug through the case. The knife he pulled out made me bite my lip in satisfaction. It was about five inches long, and a dark maroon that faded to black. The owner showed me how to open it. It wasn't a switchblade, but with a little pressure from my thumb against a certain knob, the blade unfolded smoothly and clicked into position. It was perfect, and fit in my hand like it was made for me. I couldn't hand over the $11 fast enough.

Crashing through my apartment door, I probably gave Mary yet another heart attack. She was at the stove, stirring onions. "Jesus, can't you come inside like a normal person!" she yelled, clutching her chest in what I considered a way-too-dramatic fashion.

"Look what I bought" I said, pulling out the knife from my jacket pocket, unfolding the blade, and handing it to her.

She took it from me gingerly, testing the blade with her thumb.

"It's sharp. You're going to kill yourself"

Taking it from her, I laughed.

"No ma'am. I needed it. I have to go back outside. Staying in every night is killing me."

I stowed the knife back in my pocket, hopping up to my usual spot on the countertop to watch Mary finish cooking.

"How's the fanfiction coming?" she asked, adding some chopped garlic and chili powder to her onion mixture.

"Eh." I replied, "I'm having issues with the main character"

"What issues? You've been developing her for months"

"Yeah, I know" I said, "That's the problem. I did all that work making her into someone who was believable, but as soon as I sat down and actually started to write her into the story, it's like it all unraveled"

"You're probably just over thinking it" Mary said absentmindedly, adding her skillet of ground beef into the onions and stirring furiously.

"Maybe…."

Ugh. My big problem. I was putting my heart and soul into developing a female character that Loki would actually find attractive. It was putting a strain on my poor writers brain. Not to mention it was freaking impossible. I had developed and discarded at least seven characters already. Soon to be eight, if I couldn't make the latest one work.

Pulling a foil packet of tortillas out of the oven, Mary turned around and whacked me on the knee with her spoon.

"I have taco fixings in the fridge. Pull them out for me? I need a bowl for the meat and you're sitting right where I need to be" she said.

I slid down, and started taking the plastic-wrapped bowls from the fridge. Tomatoes, lettuce, sour cream, guacamole, salsa, jalapenos.

"Dang, Mary. What's the special occasion?"

"I wanted tacos"

Totally flawless logic.

…..

I watched the clock like a high schooler the day before summer vacation. It was 10pm. I was trying to pump myself up, but the truth was that I was scared. I had let my fear keep me home for two weeks. Two awful, confining, no exercise-filled weeks.

But my belly full of tacos seemed to give me the boost I needed. Workout pants, check. Sneakers, check. Jacket, check. It was cold out. Knife? Oh yeah. Check. Quadruple check. No way in hell was I going outside without that sucker.

Poking my head into her room, I said what I hoped would not be my last goodbye to Mary. She had her headphones on, and pulled one out to wave at me.

"You'll be fine" she said. "If you aren't back in an hour, I'll call somebody, okay?"

"You always have my safety in mind" Massive eye roll. But at least she knew I was leaving.

The night air was cool, mist rising off the wet, hot pavement. It had rained a few hours ago, and I groaned inwardly. This freaking fog was like a setting for a horror movie. Go figure I was blond. I would be the first to go. Crap salad. Bad thoughts. No. No bad thoughts, Rachael.

The pace I set was brisk. I'll admit it, it was the walk of a jumpy girl. Scared. Hell yes I was scared. But as I rounded my second lap, my muscles started to relax into their normal exercise routine. It took another two laps for my brain to do the same. Knife in hand, I walked my route.

'Well this is okay…' I thought.

By the time my seventh lap came around, I was back to my normal self.

'Alrighty. Character development time.' I thought. Exercise -time was prime imagination-time.

Let's see. I can't make the character into someone Loki would like. Why? Why is that? Why was I having so much trouble making one simple character?

Huh.

Maybe that was it. They were too simple. Too shallow. Pretty faces with maybe one or two carefully constructed character flaws that wouldn't take away from the fact that they were beautiful and wanted to sleep with him. Of course. What female writer wanted to make a truly flawed character? Not a lot, that's for damn sure. Let alone have something like an ugly nose or an unfortunate habit of collecting beetles and talking to them.

And with that, I felt my leg twist and the ground came up to meet my face. I had been so engrossed in my thoughts that I had stepped in a shallow puddle. My sneakers were old and had no traction, so the slick pavement had caused me to slip and fall. Go figure my left leg had crumpled beneath the weight of the rest of me.

"Shit!" I growled. I stood up, and instantly got mad when I wobbled a bit.

I dragged myself to the other side of the road and sat down on the curb, stretching my hurt leg out in front of me. The lower back muscle in my calf throbbed when I rubbed it, but thankfully it wasn't too bad. I was covered in wet gravel and sandy mud. Awesome. I managed to get most of it off, and added "new sneakers" to my mental buy-asap list.

Massaging my hurt muscle, I looked around. Did anybody see that bit of embarrassment? A neighbor walking a dog, maybe? Nope. The street was clear on both sides. Good. As if people already didn't think I was crazy, walking alone at night talking to myself about fictional characters.

"Next time, be aware enough of your surroundings to avoid mudpuddles"

The voice came out of freaking nowhere, freezing me to the core. Dead ahead of me, in the shadows of the maintenance guy's tool shed, a figure moved slightly. On purpose, too, so that I could see them. A slight reflection of metal was the only real distinction I could make, other than the fact that whoever it was, they were _tall._

My fingers scrabbled to pick up my knife. I had set it next to me when I sat down on the curb. But I was too scared to do anything else. I just sat there, frozen. I'm sure my eyes were as big and round as half-dollars. I couldn't even make a sound. It's like my throat had constricted too tight.

There was a soft laugh from the shadows, and then a light breeze that tugged at the escaped curls from my upswept hair.

And the figure was gone. Just evaporated. No smoke. No whirling, time-warping vortex. Just there one second, then gone.

It was probably ten minutes before I could even swallow, let alone move. But this time, my brain was working long before my body could.

That voice. It was so…silky. Cultured. Intelligent. And totally in control.

There was do doubt that this was the person who had been watching me two weeks earlier.

Had this guy been waiting outside every night for two weeks just to freak me out again the next time I ventured out after dark?

The second I had that thought, I got mad. Scared Rachael was gone. Bitch-face Rachael had arrived. This guy was trying to scare me. And I wasn't going to let that happen.

I hauled myself to my feet, and did my best to stalk home with my head held high, despite the slight limp from my leg.

Just in case he was watching.

-To be Continued (again)


	3. Part 3

"Hey Mary. Mary. MARY LOOK AT ME"

"Jesus, Rachael, what?"

"What's round and bread-y and needs to be in our faces?"

"…I don't want to play this again"

"BAGELS, MARY! WE'RE GOING TO GET BAGELS"

It took me literally half an hour to coax Mary into my car, but it was worth it.

So sue me. I like bagels.

These days I was looking for every excuse to be outside during the day. Nights had become a challenge for me, mentally anyways. Anyone would be nervous if there was sometimes a risk of being watched by a creepy stalker.

Thankfully it _was_ just a "sometimes" kind of thing. I still walked at night. I had to. Defending my territory, and all that. I didn't always see the stalker. If I had to guess, it was probably around once every two weeks or so. What was weird was that he (my conclusion of gender) never approached me, or made any moves to leave the shadows. He never even said anything, at least not after my mud puddle accident. There was always just a strange feeling of being watched, then a slight metal shine or a piece of exposed fabric in a tiny shard of light, and then emptiness.

Fine by me. If he didn't make any moves, then I wasn't going to sweat about it. I was jumpy, but I'd rather be jumpy and exercising instead of being cooped up in my apartment.

Mary and I cruised down the highway in my beaten down (but much loved) car, "Poker Face" blaring in the speakers. I'm a tragic victim of the car-dancing disease, much to Mary's embarrassment at stoplights. Eh. I can't be poised and super fine all the time.

Our favorite bagel place is tucked away in a part of the city called the Epicenter. It's a cool hangout spot for young twenty-somethings like us. There are a few food places, some clothing stores, a bowling alley and a movie theater. But we always passed them by, making a beeline for the second floor to the mother of all bagel places.

"Plain bagel with spinach cream cheese…no wait. Everything bagel with plain cream cheese….no wait. Salted bagel with onion cream cheese and salmon….no wait…"

"For the love of god, Rachael, pick one." Mary said, rolling her eyes at me. She already had her bagel paid for and in hand, and was scoping the store for a booth to sit in.

MY face was pressed up against the display case. I wouldn't doubt it if there might have been the slightest hint of drool. I'm going to say it was probably 99% likely.

"Okay, fine. I got it." I said to the very impatient lady behind the counter, "Can I get an everything bagel, with the chive cream cheese?"

She filled my order and practically flung the plate at me. Rude. Whatever. I had my treasure. My precious….

Thankfully Mary had gotten us a booth in the corner of the store, where we had an excellent view of the other customers. We loved to people watch.

"So how's the story? I saw all the sticky notes on your wall." Mary asked.

I'm pretty sure I flushed red.

"I gave up on the female character." I confessed, taking a bite of bagel to hide my shame.

"Why?" she asked.

I sighed. The truth was, I didn't really know. The Loki fanfiction story seemed to be a lost cause. I had the Trickster down perfectly. There was absolutely no question as to his character. He was sly. He was brilliant. He controlled the odds of his surroundings just by reading the people around him and manipulating the situations he got himself into. He was tall, handsome, utterly convincing…

Woah.

Bring it back, Rachael.

The problem was that every female character I made seemed bland and boring by comparison. Like a gravel pebble put next to a sparkling emerald with just the right flaws…

"I dunno, Mary. You can't force a character, I guess. I was trying so hard to make the right kind feminine challenge for him, and it just wasn't working out. I've ripped through so many…" I confessed, starting to pick my bagel into little pieces.

Mary had the decency to look sympathetic. She knew how hard I tried, even though my writing didn't really appeal to her. She liked Western Romances. Maybe if I put Loki in a cowboy hat, she would read my stories….

"Leave it alone for a while. Maybe come back to it?" she suggested, munching on her bagel.

"Nah. If it's not working now, I doubt it's going to work later."

We moved onto different topics as we sat in the crowded store, enjoying our quality Mary-Rachael time and our more-than-excellent bagels. We were laughing again, my pathetic story forgotten. After about an hour, we had long since finished our food. Mary stood up, saying "Let me run to the bathroom real quick, then we'll leave".

I nodded, settling into the booth, propping my elbows up on the table and watching the other customers. There were a lot of people in here today. The noise level was louder than I would have liked, but hey, if people are enjoying themselves, then go for it.

My eyes settled on a dark-haired man at the counter, handing his money over to the bitchy cashier. His back was turned towards me, so I had a really nice view, if I do say so myself. He was really tall. With shoulders that were nicely wide, but not too broad. They tapered down to a nice trim waist, and _impossibly_ long legs.

DANG.

I'm such a sucker for guys with nice legs.

He was wearing a dark blue shirt (my favorite color), the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. Dark jeans. Dark shoes that looked kind of like leather. I'm not quite sure. The overall presentation was NICE. I wished he would turn around so I could see his face….

Mary had returned from the bathroom and knocked on the table in front of me.

"Hellooo? You okay?" she asked, laughing, no doubt, at the starry-eyed look on my face. Pathetic, isn't it?

She leaned across the booth to get her purse, and in that split second, the guy at the counter turned around to walk out the front door with his bag. I saw his face.

He caught my gaze. One corner of his mouth twitched up, and he winked at me.

What. The. Hell.

My mouth must have hit the table, it dropped so hard. My brain literally shut down for a good solid minute.

He looked just like Loki.

Wait..what? No, it was definitely him. Was it?

Oh my god, either I have a serious mental condition, or LOKI just bought a bagel.

Shaking my head to clear my vision, I lunged from the table, knocking poor Mary to the side. I was through the front door in a millisecond. The man had turned left. I _saw_ him turn left when he went through the door. In that direction was a long aisle leading to more stores, but there's no way he could have made it down to the end before I caught up.

There was no one there.

Mary had come out to stand next to me.

"What the hell did you do that for?" she asked, smacking me in the stomach with my own purse.

I could only shake my head. There was no way I could say what I was thinking out loud. She would insist on taking me to the hospital. I wouldn't even blame her, to be honest.

This is what reading and writing fanfiction had done to me. I was now seeing fictional characters in broad daylight.

On the way home, while Mary explained to me all the reasons why she thought I was a maniac, I was thinking over what I had seen.

The man's face was a little more angular than the Loki's that I had seen in the movies. A little more predatory. But that smile…

Nope, I wasn't going to think about that. Obviously I had just seen a dark haired (and attractive) guy who happened to resemble my favorite villain. He probably just winked because he saw me staring.

Yeah…that had to be it.

"RED LIGHT, RACHAEL! RED LIGHT!"

Oh yeah! I was driving!

"Sorry Mary!"


	4. Part 4

The Loki Equation – Part 4

Any intense emotion is fuel for a good story. Passion, envy, jealousy, hate, fear, admiration, love. If you feel it, all you need is to put it into the right words. That's where problems arise. It's hard to write what you feel. To put those emotions into sentences that readers can take and feed off of.

Or, if you're like me, you just say "to hell with that" and do what you want. And BOOM. Fanfiction.

At least, that's what I had been attempting. I had completely given up on writing a Loki/some-random-female love story. Thrown in the towel. Waved the white flag. Thrown my papers in the air and ran for all I was worth while the public was distracted. I had to tip my hat to the writers who were able to make a successful female character to star opposite the Trickster God. It was no easy task. I sure as shit couldn't make it work.

Sighing, leaned back into my pillows.

It was 2am. I couldn't sleep. On nights like this, when my overactive brain kept me awake, I would write in the journal I kept by my bed. I didn't write about my own life. Hell no. I wrote about Loki's life. Or, at least, the life that I created for him in my mind. They were little stories, just to keep my brain from overheating. I figured it was good mental exercise. Although if anyone else were to read them, they'd probably lock me up in the whacky shack.

Today had been rough. Rougher than usual, anyway. My alarm hadn't gone off at the right time, making me wake up almost an hour late. There was an enormous spider in my shower that I had been too afraid to squish. No time for breakfast. Traffic the whole way to work.

Once I got there, things didn't improve. Every batch of cupcakes I put in came out wrong. Either too big, too small, tipped to one side, or just plain ugly. It's hard to work in a cupcake bakery if you can't bake the damn cakes. Usually I'm amazing, but today it's like Fate just said "NOPE" and left me hanging out to dry. Our work computers went down while I was there alone. Go figure. Three batches of frosting came out a dark green color, when I clearly added pink food coloring to the base. That was weird.

And the spiders. More spiders followed the one in my shower. There was one on my mixer. One on the fridge handle. One on the counter. By the time I got home, I was sweaty, tired, starving, covered in green frosting, and traumatized from squishing so many 8-legged monsters.

Now, at two in the morning, I was facing a dilemma. I was exhausted, but even my writing exercise hadn't been able to calm my brain. I had viewed tumblr to death, read three new fanfictions, and checked my facebook and email about a million times. Mary was asleep. Everyone was asleep. What could I do to relax?

Ugh, it was looking like going outside was my only option. And believe me, I wasn't pleased with that option. I hadn't been outside at night in about a week. I did all my exercising during the daylight, when I didn't feel like I was being watched by a crazy person hidden in shadows.

'Well, it's either go outside now, or lay awake until 4am trying to shut off your brain' I told myself. Super great options, right?

Dragging myself out of bed, I dressed in my usuals. Sneakers laced up. Knife in pocket. IPod playing quiet classical music set to shuffle. I tiptoed past Mary's door, being careful to stay silent. I don't know why I bothered, though. Mary slept like a dead person and was pretty much unwakeable. Courtesy on my part, I suppose.

The night air was fairly cool, which was surprising, considering that it had almost hit 100 degrees outside earlier that afternoon. I could smell rain on the wind. Thunderstorms, I assumed, were on their way.

I nearly moaned out loud when my muscles started to relax. I had been wound so tight all day that this was like heaven. Why the heck didn't I do this earlier today? This late at night, there was nobody around. No cars driving through, nobody walking their dog or running laps. Just me. I took this marvelous lonely opportunity to stretch every muscle I could, rolling my shoulders and twisting my spine till it cracked. I probably looked like an idiot, because I was humming to myself and twisting around in the road, but hell, I really didn't care.

I was five laps around the neighborhood before I plopped my butt down on the curb to stretch my legs out in front of me and take a break. Ohhh I felt like myself again. All the stress from the day had melted off like butter and I was getting sleepy. Perfect. Mission accomplished. I would finish this lap and make my way back to my building. But I rested my head in my arms for just a minute….I was so tired….

"I suggest you do not fall asleep out here. It is going to rain in a few minutes and you are not exactly dressed for such a downpour"

The voice wrapped around me like a fuzzy blanket. I didn't raise my head. I was too tired, and I was about 73% sure that I was imagining it anyway. Wow. I had a good imagination. It was a really nice voice.

I heard my imaginary person expel a breath, and I'm pretty sure that if they were real, they were rolling their eyes. Tough tots. I'm not moving. I'm sleepy. It won't rain for another few hours. My eyes wouldn't open anyway. They were so heavy. I barely noticed the drops of water starting to hit my bare shoulders, soaking through the thin fabric of my tank top. It was cold, but not enough to break through the exhaustion that was holding me hostage.

'That's fine' I thought, 'Not made of sugar over here, I'll be okay…'

There was a weird sensation of being lifted. Like floating, almost. But so warm….

Snuggling into the warmth, I genuinely thought that I was at home in bed, and that I had imagined even leaving the house. Of course I had imagined it. Even I wouldn't be crazy enough to leave the house so late, and with a storm coming.

Was I being lowered down? Nah. The warmth was still there, so obviously I hadn't moved.

What was that noise? Rain on leaves? I must have forgotten to close the window.

What was that smell? Wet dirt? Probably from my sneakers in the corner.

What was that movement against my cheek? An expanding and exhaling chest? Nope. Just my arm under my pillow, surely.

My eyes remained closed. I didn't have the ability to open them.

My mind was fogging over, the light smell of dried oranges lulling my senses.

And I slept….


	5. Part 5

Uhhhh. Too much light right into my poor eyeballs. Either I left the blinds open or Mary was playing a cruel joke on me. It was way too bright and pretty chilly. Did I leave my whole window open last night?

The second I opened my eyes, I wanted to shut them again.

Okay.

So I was outside. Peachy.

WHY THE HELL WAS I OUTSIDE?

My brain scrambled to place my body. Thank goodness I was in my own neighborhood. It took me a good solid minute to remember how I had gotten here. There was the writing, then the walk, then the rest on the curb…

Oh yeah, and the voice. That marvelous, velvety voice. Ughh. It made me shiver just thinking about it. Although I still wasn't entirely sure it was real.

Frickity frack. I couldn't believe myself. Falling asleep outside like a hobo. People probably saw me!

Well, nothing I could do about it now.

Shifting to uncurl my dead legs from underneath me, I realized what had kept me warm all night.

Wrapped lovingly around me was a coat. At first I thought it was black. But no. It was a deep, dark emerald green. It felt like it was made of heavy silk, but was weirdly fuzzy. Almost like fleece. The silver clasps where really ornate.

Being a thrift-store budget kind of girl, this looked like a coat that I could never ever afford. Maybe drool at through a storefront display window, but never to have in my possession. I was weirded out that someone had put it around me while I slept, but hey, at least it had been a nice gesture.

When I was finally able to stand up, I shook out the lovely garment. It was long. A man's coat, judging by the broadness of the shoulders. Oh it was so nice. And it smelled like oranges.

I dug through the pockets, only feeling a little guilty. Hey, I needed to know whose jacket this was. It's not like I found any money anyway. I didn't find anything. It's a good thing I was a cupcake baker and not a detective. So I did the best I could. I wrapped up the coat, and took it home with me.

…

"Hey Rachael, can you do some other frosting color? We have two tubs of green already and it's not even close to St. Patrick's Day."

This was my coworker Jenna, hollering at me from the other side of our kitchen, where she was icing the cupcakes I had finished for her.

"That blue tub from the fridge has yellow icing in it" I hollered back, focused on sticking my pinky in my bowl to sneak tastes of red velvet batter.

"The blue tub is filled with more green, dude."

Wait, Jenna say what now?

"No it's not. I made yellow icing this morning. I put it in the blue tub. I put the blue tub in the fridge. It's yellow."

"….Rachael sweetie, I will bet you a million dollars cold hard cash that there is green icing in here"

Yeah right. I'd never make that much money in my whole life.

Cracking the lid of the blue tub she handed me, I peeked inside.

Shoot. She was right. It was green.

"I don't get it" I said, snapping the lid back on, "Why do all my frosting batches keep coming out green?"

I needed to get the hell out of the kitchen. Clearly I was jinxed, and I didn't want to keep messing up the cupcakes with my curse.

Jenna agreed to make new frosting for me, and was shooing me out the front door with a spatula while I was trying to give her instructions for finishing my catering order.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Now get out" she said, whacking my butt with her frosting-tool-of-pain. I was trying to dodge it and make it out the front door at the same time, and I completely missed the man who was trying to walk through it. Well, I didn't MISS him. I whacked right into him, face first. Well, face-to-chest. He was really frikken tall.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry. Jeez Jenna, look what you made me do! I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to…..woah"

I'm ashamed to say that my speech actually trailed off. I literally had to stop talking.

Because go figure, the handsome guy that I had practically chased down at the bagel shop had just walked into my cupcake bakery. And I had knocked into him like a spazzy ungraceful flamingo with its legs tied together.

"Excuse me, darling. That lemon cupcake is calling my name" he said, giving me a heart-stopping smile and following Jenna back up to the front counter.

I do not look attractive with my mouth open. I'm just going to be honest. But at this point, I wasn't in control of my facial muscles. Apparently my legs had decided to ignore me too, because I was stuck in one place like I was super-glued there.

The man had his cupcake box in hand and was headed back out the door. But he paused in front of me, and let's face it, I was lost on another planet when he made eye contact.

"Excellent cupcakes, love. Shame about the green icing. And that coat is not for you to keep. I'll expect that you return it"

A wink, a half-smile, and he was out the door and around the corner.

"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, THAT IS MY NEXT HUSBAND" Jenna cried, slumping over the counter in a pretend-faint.

What the hell just happened?

….

Well, here I was. It was 11pm at night. I was standing on the curb where I had fallen asleep the night before.

I was alone, unless you count knifey. It was there with me. My backup.

I had the beautiful coat bundled in my arms.

My face was resolute, but my fingers were shaking.

All day my thoughts had been consumed with crazy thoughts. And I was about to voice those crazy thoughts to a complete stranger. Well, not a stranger so much anymore.

I didn't have to fidget a second longer than neccessary. There was a shifting shadow ahead of me. A now-familiar sight, of course.

And stepping into the street lamp light was the man who was driving me nuts. The man who had only made me lose my cool in public TWICE. Smug bastard…

His hands tucked into his pockets, a terribly amused smile on his face. I wished he wasn't standing with his legs so far apart. It was having a softening effect on my knees.

I had to take a few breaths before my voice cooperated.

"You've been following me"

"Observing an interesting creature" he said. Oh god, his voice….

"And you kept me out of the rain last night?" I asked, timidly guessing.

"I stayed with you until the rain stopped. I assumed you would be fine after that. You should not have been out in the first place"

"The icing for my cupcakes?"

That got a laugh. It was more of a chuckle, really. Wow. He actually chuckled.

"Sorry darling. It was just a bit of fun"

"Yeah, not so fun for me." I felt a surge of attitude come rushing back to me. This jerk….

"You've been scaring the bajeezes out of me for two months now. What the hell do you want from me?"

This got an eyebrow raise, and he stepped closer to me. I backed up. He didn't try that again.

"You know who I am."

"Yeah. Please tell me you haven't read my fanfictions….."

"I have"

"Crap" I muttered. I had to look away. I'm sure my face was the same color as a fire truck.

"You aren't supposed to be real" I rallied, trying to gain some ground. I was having trouble meeting his eyes, but I forced myself to do it. Only wimps backed down from a staring contest.

"I would love to meet the person who told you that" he said, smiling at me, clearly amused.

My world would have been spinning, but somehow this all seemed to make sense to me. I couldn't tell you why that was. It wasn't supposed to make sense. It just…did. Dang, did I just become a character in my own story? Oh god.

I held out the coat.

"This is yours…"

"…Loki."

-To be continued


	6. Part 6

Do you know that feeling when you're standing at the edge of a ledge, waiting to jump? Yeah, I've never had that. I avoid heights like the plague and I never have the urge to jump, literally or metaphorically.

But at this moment in time, I was at the top of a mountain, looking straight down a million miles and let me tell you: this crap is scary. We're talking mental-hospital-lockdown scary. I was hoping it wouldn't come to that.

So there I was, standing in front of a man who may or may not be the god of mischief and lies. Also the god of sexy! Definitely the last one, still not sure about the first one. And I was instantly regretting my decision to hold out his coat to him. Mostly because I really wanted to keep it, and because I didn't really want him to touch my hand. So when he reached out to take it, I almost dropped it.

"Are you alright, my dear?"

Oh gawd, don't talk, please don't talk anymore.

His voice. Aghhhh fangirl dying. It was everything myself and every other fanfic writer dreamed of. Damn bastard.

"Oh yep, just fine" was my choked reply.

Ohhh wow, and now he was smiling.

Shit snacks.

"I think you could use a cupcake. Perhaps that would calm you down" he said, winking at me.

OH HELL NO. He did not just come at my cupcakes.

I squinted my eyes at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Wrapping the coat around his arm, he looked me up and down.

"It's amazing that a young woman with so much negative attitude could make such sweet deserts" he said, matter of factly.

"Well for your info, I am not only a baking genius, but a wonderfully sweet person. My only PROBLEM is when JACKMONKEYS like YOU mess with my MOTHER FREAKING FROSTING"

I realized that the louder my voice got, the higher his eyebrows went and the wider his smile got. Okay, so maybe that wasn't the reaction I was expecting…

"Oh come now. That was fun. I have to say, the look on your face when you opened that container was utterly priceless"

I stabbed my nail in his direction. "Don't touch my frosting"

Loki took a few steps forward, coming about two feet away from me. I had to look up at him, but somehow I managed not to take a step back.

"And here you are: outside on a cold night in the dark, not sure of who or what you would find waiting for you. What possessed you to face an unknown adversary, my darling girl?"

"Your coat was itchy and I wanted to get rid of it"

That was a flip answer, and I knew it. I'm just going to be honest: sarcasm is my default setting.

He raised the folded coat to my eye level.

"This garment is made from the most expensive material Asgard has ever produced. It is charged with so much magic that your mortal body couldn't possibly touch it without my blessing."

Oh now he was just showing off. Rude.

I stared him dead in the eyes as I reached forward….and rubbed it like a fluffy dog.

If a bug had flown in the line of our locked gaze, it probably would have burst into flames. The seconds dragged on.

And then he laughed. One hand to his chest, he tipped his head back and laughed up at the stars.

I, being the polite young lady that I am, let him catch his breath.

Now he was bent over, hands on his knees, still laughing. This was taking way too long. I'm pretty sure I was rolling my eyes when he finally wiped tears from his.

"You know, if you created your female characters with as much life as you have in yourself, you wouldn't have so many problems with your stories, you lovely thing" he said, his smile very very infectious.

Dammit he was charming.

At this point, I was smiling too. I honestly couldn't help myself. What got me was that he was completely right. My female characters sucked. They had nothing. But Loki…Loki had everything.

"That was a cheap shot" I told him, "I write about you too, you know. You haven't said anything about that."

"That's another subject entirely. You do a wonderful job, especially when you take into consideration that we have never met"

His voice got softer. I would call it introspective.

"Now how did you acquire that accuracy, I wonder?"

Aww nuts. How the heck was I supposed to answer this without sounding like a moron? Every fanfiction story I had ever read pegged this man, this GOD, as dominating and cruel and merciless. I just could never fully accept that. Mischief implies a little sprinkle of fun. Of teasing and playfulness. He cut an imposing figure, but why did he have to be mean? And that was the Loki in my stories. A Loki with a smile and threads of magic weaving around him like a halo.

And here was that same creature in front of me. A flesh and blood thing that I could reach out and touch. My writing come to life. I almost blacked out from the overwhelmingness of this bizarre experience.

"That's how I see you in my mind" I said. It sounded so simple and stupid, but that was the only way I could possibly explain my thoughts out loud.

"And you know how different that is from the others?" he asked, quietly.

"Do you sit around here on Earth and read stories about yourself?" I demanded, hands on hips.

It was amazing to watch his face change from his serious expression, to laughing again. Dammit, I wished I could find a way to capture that lightness in words for my stories.

"If there were thousands of stories about you, wouldn't you do the same thing? Read them? Get into the mind of another?" he asked.

"I guess I probably would….okay I completely would. I would never leave my house"

"Your writings are interesting, darling. I enjoy them. But it's clear to everyone that you are struggling to find a companion for me. What makes you believe I need one?"

My hesitation spoke volumes.

"I…I'm not sure. It just seems like there is a hole there that I need to fill"

The lightning fast face change caught me off guard. He looked a little sad, and hurt.

"Possibly" and like a flash again, his smile was back. "Then again, I would rather there be a hole than to have you fill it with one of your awful women"

"HEY" He was right.

"And yet you continue to try because you yearn to find it in yourself to create that perfect woman. The perfect companion for one such as me, even though it is very possible for you to write endlessly trying to achieve that goal. You want to validate yourself as a writer and crumble with each failure. But continue to try…."

His fingers brushed a tear away from my face. I have no idea why I was crying. Oh that's a big fat lie. I was crying like an idiot because he was completely right and it had ripped me to the core. He had said what I didn't want to admit.

Fingertips under my chin made me tilt my head up. I really tried my hardest to avoid his eyes, but I looked eventually. They were so green.

"Keep trying" he said, very very softly.

Loki smiled again, turned on the spot, and was gone, leaving me to my throbbing head and tears.


	7. Part 7

"AS LONG AS YOU LOVE MEEEEE WE COULD BE STARRRRVVIIIIING WE COULD BE HOMELESSSSS WE COULD BE BROKEEEEE! AS LONG AS YOU LOVVVVVEEEE MEEEE I'LL BE YOUR PLATINUM, I'LL BEE YOURRRR SILLLVVVERRRRRR I'LL BE YOUR GOLDDDDDD!"

"For the love of god would you please shut up!"

"Mary, sing with me"

"No"

"Come on. You know you wanna"

It was one of those days that required shameless singing of bad song lyrics at the top of my lungs, bouncing my car in and out of lanes of traffic like a lunatic. Poor Mary looked like she wished for a safety harness instead of a seatbelt.

When I dropped her off for her early morning university class, she leaned down to talk to me through the window before I pulled away.

"Don't forget: you need to pick me up here around 4 so that you and me and Holly can go grab some late lunch"

I saluted her.

"Aye aye captain"

Rolling her eyes, she stepped back from the curb so I could pull away. Probably worried I was gonna hit her.

"HAVE A GOOD DAY AT SCHOOL HONEY!" I screamed out the window, laughing like a maniac as I rocketed away.

I couldn't tell you what had me in such a good mood. I was attributing it to several hours of really really good sleep and at least an hour of uninterrupted exercise each night. HA. I was a freaking champion. Who lets a creepy guy with a sexy haircut put stress on their life? NOT THIS CHICK, THAT'S FOR DAMN SURE.

I parked my car in the empty bakery lot and let myself in through the side door, waving at the other baker already elbow deep in cupcake batter. I had a good, slow Monday afternoon ahead of me at work. Awesome. I had brought my laptop, and I was planning on sitting down for a while to work on my story.

I'd had a huge breakthrough in my fanfiction after watching an episode of Dr. Who, and I was dying to get some of the finer details down before I forgot them. So much for scrapping my writing efforts! SCREW YOU LOKI. YOU WILL HAVE A FEMALE COMPANION IF IT KILLS ME! Oh yeah. It was going to be a good day.

Around 1 in the afternoon, the last of our lunch customers had disappeared out of the door, cupcake boxes in hand. The shop was empty, the mixers were off, and I was the only baker left for the rest of the afternoon. Fantastic! Peace and quiet all for me! I dragged out my laptop bag and set it up on the back counter, powering it on while I fixed myself a cup of tea.

Go figure I had just settled in with my tea and my Zenwriter, when I heard what sounded like someone tapping fingers on a display case. A customer must have slipped past my door alarm.

"Oh gosh, sorry, I didn't hear my door chime go off" I said, half turning, and then half spilling my tea all over the floor when I saw who was standing on the other side of the counter.

Frikken really? After two weeks of being a no show, now this shmuck decides to walk in on me when I'm working? I guess I shouldn't have complained. He could have walked in on me in the shower...

"Good afternoon darling. I think you know what I came for"

"My immortal soul?"

"Is that something you're willing to give to me?"

"I'd much rather give you a lemon cupcake"

The God of frikken Mischief had the nerve to laugh. Dammit. I hated it when he did that. It was kind of infectious.

No, mouth. Don't you smile with him. Stop it.

"There are tons of other bakeries that sell lemon cupcakes, you know" I told him, handing one over anyway.

"I am aware of that. Believe me, I've tried them. I was not impressed. Besides, I like making you uncomfortable every time I walk through the door"

What a buttmunch. I was halfway convinced he didn't even come through the door, but through the walls like a poltergeist. I wonder if a salt line would keep him out...

He took a bite of the cake, and I took a moment to appreciate how yummy he was, despite my best efforts. Perfectly pressed black slacks and a black sweater. Damn if he wasn't eight feet tall. As a short person, I naturally distrust tall people. And how was he eating that cupcake without spilling crumbs everywhere?

"I see you've begun to write again" he said, coming up for air between bites.

Damn. I had left my computer open.

"I may or may not have come up with a female character...I mean, it's just development stage right now, but I have some hope for this one"

He stopped mid-bite.

"Is she anything like you?"

"Well no. Why would I put myself into a story? She's more exciting!"

A black eyebrow twitched, and I had a nasty feeling he really really wanted to roll his eyes at me.

"If you're going to make a smart comment about my writing, then I'm going to stop feeding you"  
Geez, I felt like I was feeding a stray cat. If that stray cat was tall and sexy and looked at me like I was lunch.

"You could not keep me from these cupcakes even on your best day, darling"

"You're going to get fat" I told him.

He brushed crumbs off his hands, and came around the side of the counter to lean nex to me, arms folded across his chest.

Jesus, he was handsome.

"Okay, so what do you want? Besides free food?" I asked, turning my computer so he couldn't see the words I had written. It was probably too late for that, but dang, I was trying to be decent here.

"So eager to get rid of me, are you? Very well, I shall indulge you. I'm looking for a book, and I know you are familiar with the city. Perhaps you could tell me the most likely place it would be"

He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, and set it down on the counter.

"This isn't a title. These are just squiggly lines"

"Runes, darling"

"I can't read rune-ese"

Aaaaand there went the eyebrow twitch again. I was probably giving him a headache.

Picking up the paper, I looked at it more closely. I didn't recognize them, but I knew of a place that might have someone who did.

Towards the edge of the city, more near the run down areas, there was a little bookstore squished between a pub and an abandoned cigar store. I'd been in there once before, and had almost immedietly left. It had given me a creepy vibe. But before I had ducked out of the store, I did remember seeing large leather bound volumes with symbols behind a glass case near the back.

I told Loki about the shop, and his expression went a little rigid.

"You are coming with me" he said, closing my laptop and stuffing it into its bag.

"Hold on! I can't just leave the bakery!"

Eyebrow twitch.

"Relax, jeez! You're going to give yourself an ass cramp. Someone will be here in half an hour to take over for me. I'll come with you as soon as she gets here." I said, pushing another cupcake into his hand.

I had him settled in a chair with his cupcake and a cup of coffee, and it took a few sips before his jaw unclenched. He ate his cake and kept a close eye on me while I cleaned up the shop and gathered my bag and my coat. When my coworker Sara showed up, everything was finished.

"Okay," I said to the God of Mischief, "Let's go. My car or yours?"


	8. Part 8

The Loki Equation - Part 8

"NEXT TIME WE'LL JUST TAKE YOUR CAR, IF YOU'RE GOING TO COMPLAIN SO MUCH! JEEZ!"

"I was under the assumption that you knew how to operate that ridiculous vehicle"

"Excuse you, but my car is NOT ridiculous.'

"It is rusting apart"

"IT HAS CHARACTER. DON'T BE RUDE"

Christ on a cracker, if I had known the God of Mischief would complain so much, I'd have brought another cupcake along just to keep his mouth busy. He had kept a white-knuckled grip on his seatbelt the entire trip and had made choking noises every time I came to a stop. Drama queen. I was an excellent driver. Just ask Mary.

It had only taken about twenty minutes to cruise down Tryon Street before I cut off to a smaller side street. This edge of town was...well, sketchy to say the least. Buildings were either abandoned, or in a state of gross disrepair. Signs advertised cheap cigars, pawn shops that really REALLY wanted my gold, and electronics stores that laughed in the face of bad credit. The only reason I had come down this way in the past and had heard there was a great bagel shop down here. I never found it, and I really didn't want to come back to look a second time. And the only reason I felt brave enough to even get out of my car NOW was because my companion was well over six feet tall and pretty scary looking, despite the look of interest on his face. Think vampire on a vacation. Even the most determined crack addict would probably stay away from us.

"This bookstore?" he asked, looking around the street.

I pointed it out for him. Its front was across the street, pretty narrow and partially hidden by some stairs.

"And why did we not stop in front of the store?"

"I'm sorry, did YOU want to drive next time?"

We crossed the street, and he held the door open for me. Inside wasn't any better than the nasty sidewalk outside. It was cramped, dark, and smelled like death. The twitching wall lights gave me an instant migraine. From the look on Loki's face, he wasn't too pleased either.

"Where did you see the books, darling?" he asked me very quietly, bending his knees just a little so I could angle my ear towards him.

"Over there" I said, just as quietly, wiggling my fingers to the back right corner. The cases were just a little taller than me, so he had no problem seeing over the tops to where I was pointing.

I nearly jumped out of my own skin when he put a hand to my lower back and guided me along with him. He was keeping us along the edge of the store.

The case was short and stubby. It came up to my waist, and was a bizarre cheap-looking glass that was smudgy with dirt and fingerprints. The God leaned over my shoulder, and we squinted inside. I was too grossed out to touch the case myself.

"Do you see your book?"

"No. But I know it was here"

"Your magic book fairies tell you that?"

The look he gave me could have fried sand into glass. Charming.

"I suppose you would call it an imprint. Residual energy. I can feel it"

Whoa. This was nuts. I fished a notebook and a pen out of my purse.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm writing this down! This is good stuff!"

"This is NOT going in one of your silly stories. Put that away"

"HEY. You happen to be the star in some of those silly stories, sir!"

"Please don't remind me"

He gently swatted my fist away. Probably a good thing. Most likely I would have broken a few fingers if that had been a successful arm punch.

"Juss what the hell you doin' by that glass?"

Tapdancing christ, we were about to be murdered! Run for safety! I would have escaped if some BUTTMUNCH hadn't snagged me by the hood of my jacket and dragged me back to him.

The completely round middle aged guy in front of us must have been the shopkeeper, although how the hell he fit in-between the shelves was a total mystery. And either he was on a lot of medicine for a really bad cold, or he had a great day-drinking hobby.

"There was a book in this case. Large, heavy. Dark grey leather cover and leaf etchings around the edge?" Loki seemed to have enough calm for the two of us. I was just gonna let him handle things.

The guy scratched his jaw, sizing us up. Clearly I wasn't a threat, but my companion was a totally different story.

"Yuh, dass gone. Bout a week ago, sum young guy came fur it. Paid cash an put it inna bag he brung with 'im"

I could see Loki's jaw tighten. His poor teeth were probably crying, they were clenched so tight. Yeah, I should have brought cupcakes with us...

"Very well. Thank you" he said, giving the man a nod. "Come along darling"

I assumed he meant me.

No arguments here. I pretty much sprinted out of the store, feeling like I needed a hug and a shower.

His stride was much longer than mine though, so I had to run to keep up as we crossed the street back to my car. He didn't make a move to get inside, so I looked up at him.

"Sorry about your book"

"No matter. We will find it"

"...I'm sorry, did you say WE?"

"You poor darling. I did not realize you were hard of hearing"

"I didn't sign up for this"

"No, you did not. But you are going to help me nonetheless"

Oh peachy. This was like something out of a novel. And he didn't even let me take notes! I bet he saw the muscle under my eye twitching, and he gave me a million-watt smile.

"I come to you again in a few days time. Now do you not have an appointment to keep this afternoon?"

OH CRAP I FORGOT ABOUT MARY!

"Fine! Whatever! Just knock on my door or something!" I yelled, throwing my purse in the car and stabbing the key into the ignition.

I'm pretty sure that bastard winked at me as I sped away..


	9. Part 9

The Loki Equation - Part 9

Ahhh.

There was something magical about rainy Saturday afternoons. Nowhere to be, nothing to do, no agenda to keep. Just me, my laptop, a cup of tea, and my fanfiction. Oh yeah. And Mary. She was there too.

We were camped out in our living room, piled under blankets and propped up on pillows. Food Network was on tv, providing us with some nice background noises and really yummy visuals of fried food that we weren't allowed to eat because…diets and stuff. The wind whipped rain against the window. We were in hibernation mode.

"So how's the story coming?" Mary asked me, taking a sip of her cocoa.

"Weeelllll...it's coming"

"What the heck does that mean?"

"It's not too bad, I guess. I got a really good bookstore scene in the latest one. I'm giving up on major plot development for today, and instead I'm trying to decide if I should put him in a nice suit or maybe some dark jeans and a button down."

"A suit is lingerie for men"

"A truer statement has never been made. See, this is why you're my other half"

Mary laughed and went back to her computer. "I know, dude."

I was actually so proud of myself. I had a great rough story outline going, and it was not half bad, in my own humble opinion. This was the first time in a long time that I had gotten so far in one story. Without giving up and scrapping the whole project, anyway.

There was one person I could thank for that. Since our little adventure, the God of Random Appearances was all I could think about. He was influencing my writing in amazing ways, and everything was coming together so smoothly, as if by Loki's magic itself.

I started flipping through Google pictures of nice suits, and Mary was flipping the channels on the TV, I guess looking for the weather. She happened to click through the local news, right as I happened to glance at it.

"Hey...woah hey go back for a second" I said, sitting up.

She clicked back a few channels.

And my world froze for a second at what I saw on that screen.

"Local Business Owner Found Dead"

And guess whose picture was right underneath that glaring tagline?

Tubby bookstore guy.

No no no no no.

This wasn't right.

My vision went blurry. Horrible, nauseating thoughts all rushed at me like a runaway truck. So terrible and frightening that I almost threw up.

I kicked my blankets to the floor and bolted for the door.

"Rachael, what the fuck are you doing?"

I heard her voice, but it was a billion miles away.

The door slammed shut behind me and I almost took a faceplant down the stairs, I was running so fast. They were slippery.

So was the pavement. I wasn't wearing shoes, and my bare feet and the bottoms of my comfy pants were soaked in a second. Didn't matter.

That spot. That goddamn spot where I fell in a mudpuddle and hurt my ankle. Where I fell asleep under the tree and was saved from the rain by my imagination come true. The person that I practically worshipped and wrote about and sketched and dreamed about and drew inspiration from.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?"

Yeah. I was screaming up into the sky. Getting soaking wet. Didn't care.

"YOU FOLLOW ME AROUND LIKE A STALKER YOU CREEP. SO STALK ME NOW!"

"YOU TRICKED ME. I TRUSTED YOU AND WENT ALONG WITH YOU AND YOU WERE PLANNING A MURDER THE WHOLE TIME! YOU DRAGGED ME INTO THIS AND I WILL BE DAMNED IF YOU PLAY ME LIKE THIS AGAIN!"

In hindsight, it was probably a good thing there was no one outside in this weather. My neighbors would have called the cops.

The anger and the hurt and the complete and utter fear drove me to my knees. Go figure, right into a mud puddle. Well looky there. Things really do come full circle.

I was crying. Because of me, some gross alcoholic bookstore owner was dead. I had led an unstable not-human psychopath straight to him. All over some stupid book that wasn't even there. That bastard had used me AND the bookstore guy. One of us had already been disposed of. Looks like I was a loose end too. How long did I have left?

Too bad this mud puddle couldn't swallow me. Or at least have the decency to drown me.

I don't know how long I kneeled in that mudpuddle. It probably wasn't more than a few minutes, but it felt like enough lifetimes to qualify me for my own show on BBC. The freezing layer of rain wasn't just sticking to my skin, but to my core.

And then a boot stepped into what little line of vision I had through my soaked hair.

And then a pair of long legs, bending at the knees to be level with me and my puddle.

And then a torso getting rapidly as wet as I was, after shedding a coat that was being wrapped around my own shoulders.

And then green eyes.

I shut mine.

It wasn't even worth struggling when he picked me up. If this is how I was gonna die, then fine. At least I got to touch the coat again before I met my maker.

"Put me down you asshole"

"Nice to see you too, darling"

"Put me back in my puddle"

"No"

When I opened my eyes, we were settled underneath the tree again. I was in his lap, wrapped in that amazing coat. He was giving me a look that partly suggested that he was afraid I had rabies. But when I struggled to get off, he just squeezed me a little tighter.

"Let go!"

"First you were screaming into the clouds for me, and now you would like me to release you? Make up your mind, dear girl, this is getting confusing even for me"

I looked him dead in the eyes. I wanted to see his face.

"I saw the news story. That guy from the bookstore. He's DEAD. Do you know what that fucking means? That means that you went back after I left and MURDERED SOMEONE"

I tried to twist out of his lap again, but he had one arm wrapped around my shoulders, and the other hand took a firm hold under my chin and made me look into his eyes again.

"Is that what you believe?" he asked.

Dammit, was that hurt that I saw? That I heard in his stupid voice?

"Oh, no, go ahead God of Lies. You're a murderer and a stranger and look at what you've gotten me into!" I bit the words off. If I could, I would have spat them at him.

He just looked at me. He had almost no expression on his face, either. Just a slight turn down at the corners of his mouth, and a line in-between his eyebrows.

"SAY SOMETHING!" I thrashed again, and he just held my gaze and my shoulders, not letting go.

His thumb wiped away water from my cheek. I couldn't tell if it was rain or a tear. I don't know if he could tell either.

When he finally spoke, he didn't break his gaze.

"No one has been murdered by my hand. Not here"

"You're a LIAR!"

"Close your mouth for one moment and listen to me!" he snapped, shaking me a little.

"I went back to the shop the day after you and I went together. That is true, and I was not going to hide that from you. But the door was ajar and the man was dead on the floor when I arrived."

His eyes flicked back and forth between mine. Almost frantic and desperate.

"You need to trust me. This situation is more grave than even I could have expected. And it has gone from bad to worse. Someone knows that you and I visited the shop, darling, can you not see that? That horrid man was silenced." His head shook back and forth a little. "The person who has that book does not want me to find them. And now I have put you in harms way as well"

This...this was too much for me to handle. I was one person. An insignificant person who just ate and slept and worked and doodled. This was a movie plotline, not a real life situation that I was expected to handle!

They didn't teach me to deal with these kinds of things in college….

"Why me? Why did you drag me into this?"

"I never intended to. You were an interest. A source of entertainment. But I got attached and now...this. I should not have asked for your help, but it is too late now."

Unreal. I felt like I was floating above my own body, watching this insanity unfold. It was like a really badly written romance/murder novel. Except I was the tragic heroine. Or maybe Loki was. Who the hell knows.

"And how am I supposed to trust you to tell me the truth?"

"You are going to have to trust your own instincts, love. But I give you my solemn word that I am not deceiving you"

I know that this sounds like the dumbest thing ever, but I honestly believed him. The logical half of my brain was crying and screaming and throwing itself against walls yelling 'No! No! Bad idea!', but the other half, the tiny little gut feeling that I almost always ignored was saying 'It's all gonna be okay'. Dammit. I believed him.

It looks like I was being sucked into this story. This adventure that I never signed up for. In all of my 22 years I had never done anything reckless or risky.

Maybe it was time to change that.

"I do not know what lies ahead. But some assistance would be more than welcome" he said, very quietly.

"I don't have a choice, do I? I'm stuck with you" I answered, and managed what I assume a really pathetic attempt at a smile.

He laughed a tiny bit.

"Perhaps your story will write itself along the way" he said, standing up himself and setting me back on my feet.

"Now let us return you to your home before your friend comes looking for you"

"You owe me a drink first"

-To be Continued-


	10. Part 10

The Loki Equation Part 10

The God of Lies was hogging my fries.

"Seriously. I would LOVE one of those. Because, you know, I kinda bought them."

"It's your own fault. We could have gotten them for free."

Yeah right. If he winked at another waitress, we'd probably drown in free sodas and possibly panties.

"That's gross" I told him, and got a wink of my own for my troubles.

We were sitting outside of one of my favorite pubs in the middle of the city. Spread across the table were pages of Loki's notes, a map of uptown Charlotte, purple post it notes, pens, the fries (with extra ketchup), and a basket of fried pickles that I kept smacking his fingers away from.

Loki had a red marker in one hand and a french fry in the other. He was bent over, looking from his notes, to the map, then back again. It was like watching a tennis match. Ever few minutes he would circle a spot on the map and cross off a name on a note page.

I was pretty much only useful for my insight on the city, so I was mostly just relaxing. And I was really enjoying the sight of the delicious man across from me. Or god. Whatever the hell he was. He was poking his bottom lip with his fry, either lost in thought or feeling the effect of the beer the seducted waitress had brought him.

"Loki"

"Hmm?" he didn't even look up, although he finally took a bite of his fry.

"How old are you?"

Oh great. NOW he chose to look at me. I was always startled by how green his eyes were.

He was grinning.

"I'm sorry, I think I misheard you. Ask that again love"

"I just wanted to know how old you were."

He deftly snagged up a fried pickle from the basket I was so jealously guarding.

"DROP THE PICKLE. DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU"

"If you're going to start asking me personal questions, I deserve a pickle."

Okay that made sense. I offered him the cup of ranch for dippies.

He dipped and crunched, still grinning at me.

"Somewhere around twenty-six, if I were as boring as you are, darling"

"I'll have you know I'm the most amazing person you'll ever meet."

"You spent half an hour balancing crackers on your nose yesterday."

"THAT WAS FOR SCIENCE"

Loki leaned back in his chair, laughing. I couldn't help but lean back in my own, laughing with him. It was strange, seeing him like this. Sleeves rolled up past his elbows, long legs stretched out under the table, a drink in one hand and another stolen pickle in the other. He had pushed his hair back out of his face, but a stray piece still brushed his forehead. It was really easy to forget that he wasn't like me, or any of the other people sitting at the tables around us. It was easy to forget that he may look close to my age, but was in reality, probably like a bizarre ageless vampire.

I guess he sensed my thoughts, because he offered me the fry basket.

"It's best to not think about it too much" he said, "I can see the smoke coming out of your ears. Now, what did you say happened to the book store on McDowell street?"

Loki was enough of a gentleman to wait and let me navigate through my mouthful of fries.

"It caught on fire a few months ago. Burned to a crispy crunch" I said.

He scrunched his nose up and tapped his pen against his forehead.

"That makes four in the past year. It seems like either your city is made entirely of very dry wood, or someone really dislikes bookstores." he said, thoughtfully.

I took a peek at the map, and saw he was right. The stores that he had circled were all in notoriously crummy areas of the city, and all of them had fallen vicitim to fires. Even if the buidings themselves survived, the contents of the stores didn't.

"So why bookstores?" I asked, dipping my pickle.

"I've been doing some asking around," he said, "It turns out that there's more than one book circulating that shouldn't be here"

"And by 'here', you mean..."

"Anywhere that isn't Asgard."

Well that didn't sound good. Downright ominous.

"You haven't told me why you need this book, you know" I reminded him. The suspense was driving me bananas. A nasty gross guy had died and other books had burned because of it. The dumb thing had a god frazzled and resorting to petty pickle theft.

Loki let out his breath in a long pained sigh and gave me a look of someone suffering from chronic harrassment. Oh crap. He was gonna pull 'sad puppy face' on me.

"No, you know what, I don't want to hear it. You can tell me later" I said quickly, waving him away and handing him the pickle basket.

"The point is," he said around his mouthful, "Not only do I need my book, but the other three. I've narrowed the search down to the bookstores in the city where they might have been recently. The ones that aren't burned, that is."

"OPERATION BOOK RESCUE IS GO!"

Ohh there is nothing funnier than watching an attractive man choke on fried food. I felt bad after laughing for about a minute, and flagged the entranced waitress.

"Could you grab him a glass of water?"

"He can have anything he wants!" she said, starry eyed.

Good lord.

He seemed to take it in stride, because he tried to wink again when she handed him the water, but he was still coughing, so it just looked spastic. This was comedy gold.

"You know, maybe if you spent less time being charming and more time doing some snooping, you'd have your book" I said.

Yeah, gulp your water you buttmunch, I thought. I gave him squinty eyes.

"Your face is going to stick like that, love" he wheezed, when he finally got control of windpipe.

"I'll still be better looking than you"

"I doubt that. I've seen you staring when you think I'm not looking."

Gasp. How dare he imply that I like looking at his butt?

Well it was a nice butt. So sue me.

I stood up and helped him collect his papers and pens. I could feel him staring at me, and there was no way in hell I was going to look up.

Maybe a sneak out of the corner of my eyes...

DAMMIT.

He saw me. Now he was chuckling. Triple dammit.

"There is nothing funny going on anywhere in this area, sir"

"That depends on where you're standing. Because over where I am, I see a very lovely young lady with too much imagination and possibly an attention problem" he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Oh really? Because over here where I'M standing, all I see is a long legged kook who steals french fries" I shot back, slinging my bag over my shoulder in my best impersonation of a sassy lady.

"We have reached an impasse, love"

"It certainly looks that way. Where to now?"

He tucked the folded map into his back pocket and tugged on my ponytail.

"East Boulevard. Lead the way"

"Aye aye, captain."


	11. Part 11

The Loki Equation Part 11

I would just like to take the time to point out that I, in no way, shape or form, am not a brave person. At all. I lock all my doors at night. I drink plenty of water. I wear my seatbelt. I stay away from shady boys in bars.

So it's a safe bet to make that I felt like I was way out of my league here.

Loki wasn't exactly making it much easier on me.

He kept pulling candy out of his pockets and offering them to me. Like he was rewarding a well-behaved puppy.

It was a Jolly Rancher this time.

"Seriously? Where does all this candy keep coming from?"

"I thought cherry was your favorite"

"It's not the flavor that's concerning me!"

"If you don't want it..."

I snatched it from his fingers and did my best to crunch it grumpily. He just smiled and let me into the store by my elbow.

Now, believe me when I say that there is a store like this one in pretty much every city. You might have even been in one.

Along one side wall was a long low glass case filled with "tobacco" paraphernalia, if you know what I mean.

There were more shelves in tidy rows.

Some held burners and lots of incense and candles. Some had books. Some had folded up clothing. Statues. Jewelry. Other ones had little glass vials with labels handwritten on paper tags:

Dragons Milk

Aardvark Tongue

Unicorn Toenail

Ha! I got a kick out of those.

"Excuse me," I asked the salesgirl, "Do people actually buy these?"

"Oh yeah," she said, swiping her zebra striped bangs out of her eyes. "Mostly tourists, but there's a coven of witches down the street that come in every once and a while."

"Oh wow. Okay. Coven. Cool" I said. What kind of weird neighborhood was this?

Loki was poking around through a tray of crazy witchy jewelry. I didn't know how much help he was going to be, so I guess the reckless side of me (that I didn't know existed, by the way) decided to go ahead without him.

I leaned a little closer to the salesgirl.

"Listen," I said, "See that guy over there?"

She looked over, swiping her bangs again so she could see with both eyes.

"Yeah. Dang. Is he one of those guys that you pay to hang out with you?"

"Wh..what? No. Jeez. No."

"Oh. Bummer. I'd pay."

"Don't let him hear you see that. His head doesn't need to get any bigger, believe me. What's your name?"

"Carlise"

"I'm Rachael"

She put up her fist, and I tapped it with mine.

"Listen, my friend over there and I are looking for something. A book. We heard it was here."

"Sure man. We got lots of books"

"This is a special book"

"Aren't they all special?" she asked.

Woah. Touché.

"You're right. Um, this one, though. It isn't like...well, regular books. This one needs to be with him" I hooked a thumb in Loki's direction. He still wasn't paying attention.

Carlise studied him very closely for a minute. Then she nodded.

"There was a lady in here the other day saying that same kind of thing" she told me. "But her vibe was wrong, man. She got really mad and left when I told her that we didn't have anything more powerful than A Dummies Guide to Black Magic"

We both laughed at the same time, and covered our mouths so we wouldn't draw attention.

"Look, I really need to get that book back where it belongs. How does my vibe feel?"

She smiled, and somehow it outshone her thick Cleopatra eye makeup and scene hair. "Pretty good, man. You're like a sunshine."

She took a key off her studded belt and unlocked shelf under the "tobacco pipe" case. When she stood up, she held a book in her hand. It was a lot smaller than I imagined. Like a journal, almost. It was a dark cocoa brown, with some gold edging, but not too much. It wasn't fancy. I was a little disappointed. I was kinda hoping that it would be...I don't know. Bound in human skin, or making its own fog. Anything.

"It's happy to see you, dude" she said, handing it over.

"Happy to see me?"

"Yeah, it's like...humming."

The book felt a little warm, but that's about it. I was just going to take her word for it.

"Thanks Carlise. This is amazing. What do we owe you for it?"

She waved her hands in front of her.

"Nah, man. You and mister tasty over there just do your thing. You're good"

We both smiled, and bumped fists again.

Loki looked slightly upset that I had dragged him out of the store by HIS elbow this time. I guess only he's allowed to do that.

"I was learning how to use Tarot cards to predict lottery numbers" he complained, smoothing out the crease I had made in his shirt.

"Shut up! Look what I got!" I said. I couldn't hold my excitement in any longer. I jumped around him in a circle, and smacked the book down in his palm. The look on his face made me laugh even harder, till I was bend at the waist and howling.

"You actually found one..."

I probably should have been a little insulted at that, but whatever.

"Heck yeah I did SUCKAHHHH! And THAT is how girls handle business!"

He laughed with me, and pulled me into a tight hug that crushed my shoulders.

When we both calmed down, I remembered something.

"That girl, Carlise, told me that someone else was looking for this. She said it was a woman, and she had a bad vibe. I think that's stoner talk for evil aura, if that's a thing that happens with people like you. Are they here? Ones like you? Looking for this stuff? Because no offense, you look like someone who would give off a bad vibe too..."

"That was mean, darling. I don't have a bad vibe. It's all reputation. And I think that this woman that your friend described is probably associated with whomever decided to put an end to the other bookkeepers life. The man they found. And also the people behind the fires"

He rubbed his forehead with the tips of his fingers.

"Looks like this might be more of a challenge than I thought" he said.

I rolled up my sleeves.

"Well then let's go, slowpoke.

I don't have all day"


	12. Part 12

Rain rain, go away...

Actually, today I was kind of okay with the rain. It was an icky Wednesday. Cloudy and chilly. The wind tapped on the living room window.

I had the apartment all to myself, so I had the corner lights on, giving the room my favorite golden glow. It was warm and comforting. Snuggly, if you will. I had my radio playing lovely classical music, and I was in the kitchen fixing myself a bowl of rocky road ice cream.

"Bring two spoons!"

Wait...

What the fudge...?

I had to lean on the counter and breathe in and out a few times before sticking my head around the corner into the living room.

Guess which long-legged mofo was lounging on my couch? Damn. Maybe I should have put down traps to keep him out. He had his feet on my coffee table, hands behind his head, and his eyes were closed. I think the music and rain had put him into a drowsy state of compliance. Not enough to keep him from wanting my ice cream, I guess.

'Well,' I thought to myself as I dug whipped cream out of my fridge.

'I've got two options: I can throw him out and keep the ice cream to myself. Or I can let him stay, miss out on some ice cream, but maybe get some stories out of him.'

Damn.

Sorry ice cream. I guess I was going to have to share.

He wasn't getting a cherry, though. That was my line.

I carted the bowl into the living room and waved his spoon in front of his face. He snatched it from my hand without even opening his eyes.

"How did you get in here, anyway?" I asked.

"The door"

"It's locked"

The corners of his mouth inched up and he opened one eye.

"I suppose you will have to accept 'magic' as an explanation then, darling." he said, scooping out a spoonful from my bowl.

"So what brings you to my humble quarters in the middle of a rainstorm?" I asked, settling on the couch next to him and snagging a scoop of treats with the cherry on it before he could see it.

He was massaging his temples with his fingers after his first bite. Hahaha. Brainfreeze, jerk.

"I was hoping to convince you to come with me this afternoon. There is a library in the city that might be home to one of the four books I need to take back."

"Geez. You couldn't show up just to spend time with me?"

He smiled at me while he scooped more ice cream.

"You just don't want to go out in the rain." he teased.

Touché.

"Can't we just stay in today and eat popcorn and watch a movie?" I asked. So sue me, I was whining. I didn't want to go out and chase stuff today. I just wanted a nap. Or two naps.

Loki stood up, taking the bowl from my hands. He took it into the kitchen and I heard the freezer door open and shut.

When he came around the corner, he went right to my back door and slid open the glass, gesturing for me to follow him.

Ughhhh.

I hauled my ass up off the couch, stepping out onto my balcony with him. He shut the door behind us and we stood at the railing, looking out at the rain. It was cold, and I started to shiver a little. Loki put his arm around my shoulders.

"I know that I've been running you ragged these past few weeks," he said, quietly. "I never expected that I would have to rely on anyone but myself. But you have been very cooperative. And I am thankful."

He looked down at me. I knew that if I met his gaze, I would either start laughing or crying. Better play the safety card and just keep looking forward.

That jerk knew exactly what was going through my head. He chuckled and squeezed my shoulders tighter.

"Now go on inside. Fetch yourself a coat. You're coming with me."

"HEY. What if I don't wanna go?"

"Then I will be forced to take you by force"

Be still, my heart.

...

"WHERE THE FLYING FUDGE MONKEYS DID YOU GET A CAR?"

I was standing, jaw dropped into the wet street, in front of a dark blue, sleek, sexy sports car. Loki was holding the passenger door open for me.

"Rachael, it is raining. Get in now."

"Fine fine, but seriously where did you HOLY CRAP IS THIS LEATHER?"

He shut the door and went around to slide behind the drivers seat. I was petting the inside dashboard, and he was shaking his head. I guess I'm amusing.

"Loki, did you steal this car?"

"Not necessarily."

"What the frack does that mean?"

"No one stopped me from taking it and no one is looking for it."

Right. Yeah. That is totally legal.

"How did you learn how to drive, anyway?"

Putting the sex-mobile into gear, he pulled out of the parking spot with ease.

"I have picked up quite a few skills in my time here. It isn't exactly a difficult thing to learn. Which is surprising, considering how bad you are at it."

"YEAH, WELL YOU'RE WET."

There was something oddly sexual about the way his long fingers were wrapped around the gear shift. Damn...

Loki pointed the car in the direction of the city. We motored down the highway, the rain smacking against the windshield. My forehead was pressed against the window, and I was falling asleep. He had the radio on, playing the same music I had on in my apartment. The notes were lulling me into a drowsy haze, and I kinda missed my ice cream.

I wanted to be on my couch, wrapped in my fluffy blanket with my pillow, a bowl of popcorn near my hand. I wanted to have Loki run his fingers through my hair while I fell asleep, rain noises in the background...

"Rachael, wake up. We're here."

"Ughhhh."

"Charming."

We were in the parking lot of the uptown library, and Loki was at my door, holding it open for me with his hand outstretched to help me out.

"No. Let me go back to sleep."

"Do not make me haul you out myself"

"Don't threaten me with a good time and not deliver, sir"

Unclipping my seat belt, I let him help me out of the sex car.

We made our way through the front doors, shaking off the rain.

"One of your books is here?" I asked, lowering my voice to the socially acceptable library volume.

Loki was looking around, interested. I don't blame him. This branch was the oldest in the city. Heavy on the dark woods and globe lamps.

"I think so" he murmured.

Great. Looking for one old book among thousands. This was going to be a fun afternoon.

"Should we split up?" I asked, looking up at him.

"That does seem like a good strategy, " he agreed. "You take the left staircase, and I will take the right."

An hour later, I was up to my elbows in old books that hadn't been dusted in about...oh, I don't know...a THOUSAND years. I had gone through about fifty shelves.

Ughh. This sucked. Out of all the things I could be doing today, I was stuck in this icky dusty back corner of this junky old library with no hot men to look at.

I decided to take out my frustration by landing a kick on one of the shelves. It made me feel a little better...until one of the upper shelves gave way, dumping about six heavy volumes all around me. One clonked me on the side of my head and knocked me to the ground with a yelp.

I was dazed for a second, butt on the floor, the book in my lap, and birdies flying in circles around my noggin.

"Owww..."

Great. That was going to leave a nice lump.

I was about to extract my revenge by throwing the book that hit me, but I hesitated as I was winding up my throwing arm.

That vine pattern looked very familiar...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD

Damn, I had some awesome luck! This had to be Loki's book! It was bigger than the other one we had found, but this one felt just like the other. Warm, and kind of sunshiny. Like it was happy to see me! Just like the other one!

I hauled myself up and scurried towards the end of the aisle to find Loki, only to be knocked to the ground again after running right into someone coming around the corner.

"What the fuu-"

I was cut off from my brilliant curse by my assailant grabbing my arm and jerking me upright.

"Hey! Let go!" I cried, trying to shake the man loose. But he had a death grip on my arm.

"Give me the book little girl." he growled, shaking me hard like a dog with a toy.

The terror had already kicked in. Was this the guy who capped the owner of the first bookstore Loki took me to?

Fuck, I wasn't waiting to find out.

"Here you go!"

I used all my strength and the weight of the book to collide it against the side of his head. Don't judge me, but I was pretty surprised that I managed to knock him down. Then my brain said 'RUN, STUPID!' and I took off, the book tight against my chest.

I went racing down the stairs, right past Loki, who was on his way up.

"What in the world-?" he started, but I kept running.

"GET IN THE CAR, WE GOTTA GO!"

There was no mistaking the panic in my voice, and he was behind me in a second. We flew out the front doors and raced to the car. I threw myself face first into the warm leather seat and Loki dove behind the wheel.

We peeled out of the lot and it took about five minutes for my heart rate to get below stroke level.

"What in the world happened?" he asked me. He had his composure back, but his hair was disheveled and his eyes were still a little wide.

"Some creep tried to take it"

"Take what?"

"This" I said, pulling the book out from under my jacket.

"You found the book!"

"Yeah and I didn't know I was in danger of being kidnapped for it" I said, stroking the cover. Stupid book. Worth too much trouble. Even though I kind of felt attached...

"Once again you go above and beyond my expectations" Loki said, taking his eyes off the road for a second to give me a blinding smile. But his eyes were still a little concerned.

"Did he hurt you?"

"He grabbed my arm a little tight, but I think he's going to be in more pain that I am." I said, kinda feeling like Supergirl.

Over my dead body was anyone else going to get this book.

Oh geez, I hope that wasn't a possibility.

"Where are we going now?" I asked him.

"Home, " he said. "Out of the rain. I owe you a bowl of that popcorn that you love so much."

I was in love.


	13. Part 13

I like to think that all authors have little weird things that they do when they write. Little quirks or kinks that get their juices flowing, help them relax, help the stories and characters come easier.

I TELL myself that, probably so that I don't feel so bad about my own creative process: I eat chocolate. Not just any chocolate. A very specific type. They're like the Andes mints that you get at restaurants, but much tastier. Those little chocolates are my magic carpet. They take me to fantastic places. Wondrous worlds. Also I just really like chocolate. Don't judge me. I have a friend paints her toes while she writes.

Anyway, it was about four in the morning, and I was sitting on the floor in my living room, my laptop sitting on the coffee table, Food Network on the tv turned down low. I was writing a fluffy Loki one-shot, just for fun. Loki was marvelous and adorable, as always, but the female character was a grey shape. Unformed, unnamed, just a body to fill a space. I really didn't even bother to give her a personality. There was no point. The story wasn't about her anyway. I just like writing about Loki. And the more time I spent with him, the more fun I had writing about him. It really got better and better every week. I was on a Norse-god-high and I never wanted to come off it. Plus he was adorable to look at.

Ughhh leg cramp. Meh. I might as well get up and stretch.

I padded into the bathroom, and turned on the light.

What. The. Fudge.

My tub was filled with water.

And there was a turtle in it.

It had a bow on its shell.

Uhhhh...

There was a low pitched laugh from the door behind me.

Loki was leaning against the frame, his arms crossed, and a grin on his face. He was looking extra fine in a dark grey shirt with the top two buttons undone, and black pants. Fuzzy grey socks.

"I swear I locked the front door" I said, grinning right back.

"Yes, yes you did" he replied, edging past me and sitting on the side of the tub.

"You know, I'm pretty sure I could write this into some sort of romance novel with no effort" I told him.

He picked the little turtle out of the water and held it up to me, making kissy noises. Oh gawd I almost died trying to hold back my laughter. This was too funny. His smile was from ear to ear and he looked so pleased with himself.

"So are you going to explain the turtle, or what?"

He held the little thing out to me, with the sweetest expression on his face. It actually struck me right in the heart.

"I wanted to get you a gift" he said, as I took the turtle.

Our eyes met, and I'm pretty sure I melted a little. Out of all the things that I thought he was capable of, this simple act was beyond even my wildest imagination.

"So you got me a turtle?"

"Oh, I thought you would like her"

"NO!" I clutched the turtle to my chest when he tried to take her back. "That's not what I meant. I do like her. I'm just wondering where the idea came from. This is some out of the box gift giving"

He laughed again, probably at the protective and crazy expression I'm sure I was wearing. My turtle. Mine.

He stood up and stretched his arms above his head languidly, almost touching the ceiling. Tall weirdo.

"Come along, " he said, putting a hand to my lower back and guiding me out of the bathroom, "There is more in the living room".

Woah. If there was a chicken coop out there, I was going to have to have a serious talk with him about pets.

Instead of a petting zoo, there was a small tank on the table, next to the laptop I was just sitting at. It had a little pool in half of it, and a miniature forest with some twigs and leaves in the other half. Aww! He got her a house too!

I set her in her little pool and watched her splash around. It was so freaking adorable.

"Did you name her?" I asked him.

"No," he said, standing behind me. "I reserved that pleasure for you"

"SHE SHALL BE NAMED MOOSE!"

"Moose?"

"Yeah. It's like a big deer thing...you know, with antlers..."

That smug buttmunch rolled his eyes at me.

"Too late. That's her name now."

He held up his hands in a peace gesture.

"Fine, fine. Whatever you wish. Do you happen to have any of the drink you made me last week, by any chance? I can't stop thinking about it."

Now it was my turn to laugh.

"Cocoa? I'm sure I could whip some up"

He trailed behind me into the kitchen, leaning on my counter while I took out the milk from the fridge and got it heating in a saucepan.

"I couldn't help but notice that you started writing again."

I added some cocoa mix to the warming milk, along with some vanilla bean seeds I scraped out of the pod with my paring knife.

"A little bit"

His eyes were on the back of my head, I could feel them. Blush city, population me.

"You are not an awful writer, you know" he said, quietly.

Turning around, I pointed my knife at him accusingly.

"You jerk! You read it, didn't you!"

He didn't even have the decency to look ashamed.

"UGHHHH. You are SO lucky that you're cute to look at." I told him, giving him my best stink face. "And I really don't want to talk about it. It was just for fun, anyway."

I poured the cocoa into two mugs, adding whipped cream and some cinnamon to the top, and handed it over.

He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead before carting his cocoa into the living room and settling himself on the couch. Should I follow him and let it go, or stay mad in the kitchen? Oh, Chopped was on Food Network. Forgiveness it is.

Careful not to spill my drink, I sat next to him, tucking my legs up under me to keep my toes warm.

"I didn't think gods watched cooking shows."

"I enjoy them" he said, swiping whipped cream off his lip with his thumb.

"That's a little weird"

He snorted. "So is eating an entire bag of chocolate while writing dirty stories about me, silly girl. But I wasn't going to mention it."

He wrapped a long arm around my shoulders, laughing, when I tried to get up and be huffy.

"Stop grumbling" he said, settling me into his shoulder.

We sipped our cocoa and watched chefs make weird things out of liver, Moose crunching on lettuce in her tank.

There was a god in my living room, drinking cocoa on my couch. And we were hunting for books that may or may not be for destroying worlds or toppling kingdoms. And he brought me a turtle. Oh yeah, there was nothing bizarre about that.

At this point, I was really thinking that it was best to just throw all notions of normality out the window and into the bushes.

For now, I was going to enjoy my quiet time.

I could help save the world later.


	14. Part 14

I was floating...

Floating on a wonderfully soft, fluffy pink cloud made of cotton candy. Two studly guys in low-slung jeans fanned me with peacock feathers made of gold while another one fed me orange slices covered in chocolate. I was wreaking balls in Halo 4, which was projected on a screen the size of an entire wall. Did I mention my controller was covered in diamonds? Yeah this was the good life...

Until I felt something stabbing me in the side.

God dammit.

"Rachael"

Triple dammit.

"Whatever it is, the answer is no"

That low sexy voice I loved so much? Remember? I wasn't so crazy about it right this second. I curled the covers even tighter in my hands and wrapped them around my head. Mole mode activated.

"Wake up darling. We have a full agenda today."

"No"

He was tugging gently on the covers, but I was holding pretty tight. I didn't want a single drop of daylight to invade my beautiful wonderful darkness. And knowing him for the jerk he was, Loki had probably opened the blinds.

"You need to rise. Do you not want to help me today?"

"Noooooooo..."

"What a shame. I've brought your favorite breakfast, too. Well I suppose you won't be needing it, since it looks as though you intend to stay in bed long after the appropriate time to enjoy it."

Wait.

He started laughing, probably because I had poked my nose out of my blankets just enough to get a sniff of the air.

No way.

The covers went flying and I dove for the bag he had in his hands, scaring the bajeezus out of him.

By the time he had recovered, I was calmly sitting cross-legged, unwrapping my treat with the delicate and ladylike precision and caution that such a tender delicacy required of me.

He crossed his arms and lifted an eyebrow so high, I worried it would disappear into his hairline.

"Why that particular food excites you, I have no idea. I am sure you would have taken off one of my fingers to get to it"

"Haven't you ever had a chicken biscuit?"

"No"

GASP

He reeled backwards when I launched myself at his midsection.

"PUT THIS IN YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW!"

He had my arms in both his hands, leading me back to the bed while he tried to hide the look of terror/amusement that was painted all over his smug face.

"I have already eaten. And I honestly do not see the appeal of eating chicken this early in the morning"

"Chicken biscuits are a breakfast treasure" I told him, gesturing with my wonderful treat.

"So now that you've accepted my bribe, I take it you're willing to accompany me today?"

It was my turn to raise my eyebrows at him.

"That depends: did you bring a treat for Her Highness too?"

He gave me a billion-watt smile, and picked up a bag of lettuce he had sitting on my dresser.

"I always come prepared. And how could I leave Her Highness wanting?"

He was coaxing Moose out of her house with the lettuce. Of course, she came running right away to snag the treat from his fingers. Aww. Bless her. She knows her daddy. I guess if he was being nice to me AND Moose, then I had to help him.

"Fiiiiiiine. Jeez." I said, throwing every ounce of exasperation I had in my body into the words.

I swallowed the last bite of my biscuit, swallowing a moan of delight along with the chicken, and got up from bed.

When I got out of my closet, my clothes for the day in my arms, I noticed he was staring at me.

"Can I help you?"

He eyed my legs appreciatively and I instantly blushed. Maybe I should stop wearing sleepy shorts to bed...

I'm going to be honest: I thought about attempting to flirt. That look he was giving me was mucho sexy. But then I remembered how socially awkward I am, and decided to just edge into my bathroom to change. My "sexy" moves when it came to men was just trying to wink, but somehow always using both my eyes.

So instead, I just THOUGHT about ripping his dark blue shirt of his yummy body and licking him, and changed into some leggings and a tank top and jacket. Hair in a ponytail. Only a little eyeliner. Warrior mode.

When I came out of the bathroom, Loki tossed me a bundle of papers. I had to drop my sleepy clothes to catch them.

"What are these?"

He was feeding Moose blueberries, one by one, when he answered me.

"I was hoping you could tell me"

Rifling through page after page, I said "These are just addresses here in Charlotte. Look, this one is McDowell Street, this one is Charlottetowne Avenue, so on and so forth. Why? What are these?"

"They were stuffed into the book you found in the library."

"So what?"

"Well, perhaps whomever had the book last also wrote down some leads to the other two."

Wow, that was actually a pretty good theory.

"Or maybe those are false leads to bring us to OUR DOOM"

He gave me a 'what the fudge?' look, but decided not to say anything. That was a good move for him, considering as there were plenty of things within reach for me to throw if I decided I didn't like whatever smartass comment he had prepared. The man/god was learning.

"Well whether we are on our way to our doom or not, we need to find those last two books." he said, dropping the last of the blueberries into Moose's bowl and brushing off his hands.

"Yeah, yeah. Fine. I just would rather not be walking into a dramatic death scene" I told him, gathering up my purse and cell phone.

"Hey, how do you keep getting in here, anyways? Our landlord put a new bolt on the door for me."

"Magic, darling"

Quadruple dammit.

...

"Loki"

"Yes?"

"Are you sure we are in the right place?"

"I followed the directions to the letter"

We angled ourselves out of his sex-on-wheels, and stood shoulder to shoulder on the sidewalk. This was an empty lot. Just waist-high thick weeds and some cinder blocks in the corner.

Loki looked down at the paper, scrutinizing it and then looking up and down the street. I stood still with my hands on my hips, giving him sassy face. Go figure he may be a god, but he was still a man, and therefore more than capable of getting us frikken lost. This was a shady area of the city, crunched full of houses and businesses that were pretty run down. I would much rather have stayed in the car, but I didn't want him to call me a chicken.

"Well...what do you wanna do? Should we look around or something?" I asked.

"We might as well," he said, starting to pick his way through the overgrown grass.

"Just be careful!" I hollered at his back. "There are wild Pokemon in the tall grass!"

"What did you say?"

"...nothing! Nevermind!"

Kicking at the grass with my shoes, I pondered the likelihood of finding a book buried somewhere in all this. It wasn't looking promising. Why would someone write down the address of an empty lot? That didn't make any sense at all. Maybe there was something here before, like a building, and the book was in there? Nah, that wasn't too likely. The grass was too long to have been here a short time, and there wasn't any evidence of a former building. So I guess that ruled out THAT theory. Maybe someone did bury it? That one didn't sound too likely to me either. I mean, who buries books? Seriously. Nobody.

I was deep in thought about the kind of person that would bury a book, when I heard a yelp that was cut short. Looking up, I found an field that was strangely Loki-less.

"Loki?" I yelled, fighting my way through the grass to where I saw him last. Thank goodness I saw the hole before I fell in it. My charming and handsome companion, however, had not been so lucky.

Dropping to my knees, I looked down into the hole. It was narrow, just wide enough for someone with broad shoulders to slip down. And it was deep, though. I probably wouldn't have been able to see him in the dark if he wasn't so pale. His skin was like a night light.

"Holy crap are you okay?" I hollered down into the hole, getting a muffled moan in response.

"Did you land on your face?"

I got a slightly sarcastic moan on that one.

"As long as it's not the face!"

He was rustling around down there, and I almost chewed through my lip from nerves.

"I'm alright" he finally called up to me, "Landed on my ankle a bit, but it's fine"

"Tapdancing cripes, can you climb back up?" I yelled down, "I don't think I can pull you back up here."

There was more rustling, and then he called back "You may not have to. You will never believe this, but there is a tunnel down here."

Wait. Say what?

THIS WAS LIKE A GOD-DAMN INDIANA JONES MOVIE!

"No way! Where does it go!? Can you see?!"

"It's...it's dark down here, darling."

"Don't you have, I don't know, night vision or something?"

"No!"

"Oh. I feel like that is something you should have."

"Hilarious. There is room down here. Jump down, would you? This tunnel must lead somewhere."

He must be out of his damn mind.

But I wanted to be Indian Jones so bad...

"Will you catch me?"

"No. I am going to let you hit the ground and break your legs"

"Next snarky answer, and I'll leave you down there mister."

"Just jump!"

Frikken gods wanting me to jump down dark holes that lead to god-knows where and not even being nice. Ugh.

On the other hand, I might get to be Indiana Rachael. Just with no whip or cool hat.

I took a deep deep breath...

And jumped.


	15. Part 15

Coat me in seasoned flour and fry me up in oil, babycakes, cause I am one big chicken.

Cluck cluck.

I screamed the whole way down the hole, scrabbling for something to grab onto

and only really succeeding in screwing up my fingernails. My some miracle I landed on my feet, but my ladylike ankles gave way and I ended up on my knees in the dirt. To prevent me from falling on him, Loki had pressed himself against the wall of the hole. Jerk. He could have at least tried to catch me.

"Are you alright?" he asked, giving me a hand up.

"Ughhh. I think I left my stomach up at the top." Brushing the dirt off my pants, I felt myself up too.

"I think I have some scratches on my legs, but I'm okay."

"Good. Carrying you would have been a bit of a burden."

"Gee, thanks."

Prince Charming my ass.

"So what now?"

In the gloom, I could see his slightly-darker outline running his hands along the walls. Better him than me. If I touched a worm, I would scream. Bugs freak me out. And I guess a dirt hole wasn't the best place to be for someone who shrieks at the sight of a tiny bug.

"There is a tunnel this way. It is narrow, so you will have to follow behind me"

"No way!"

"Very well, in front of me it is"

"HELL NO"

His pained noise made his chest vibrate slightly. I was pressed so close to him that I could feel it. And I have to say, I didn't hate it. Now, keep in mind that the hole was big enough for me to NOT be pressed up against him. But it was dark. And I was clearly getting away with it. Opportunity sized.

Hands at my waist, he turned me slightly and then, putting his hands on MY hands, showed me how narrow the tunnel really was. Only slightly wide enough for me to get through. Loki, with his broad shoulders, would have enough of a rough time getting through.

Darn. He was right. We would have to go in one behind the other.

If I went first, then that would give me the chance to maybe show off my butt a little bit. But the downside would be that I would be the first to walk through a spiderweb.

If HE went first, then I could look at HIS butt, but a monster might grab me and drag me backwards into the abyss.

Shit snacks. It was a lose/lose either way.

"You go first. But hold my hand."

"Why?" Even if I couldn't really see his face, I just KNEW his eyebrows were doing that thing. You know the thing.

"In case something grabs me and drags me off to eat me."

He made a grumbly noise, but wrapped his fingers around my wrist.  
"There. Now anyone insane enough to want you will have to take me too"

Be still, my heart. There was Prince Charming. Or Prince Thinly Veiled Insult. Whatever.

He started down the tunnel, and I was right. He had to turn slightly sideways to get his shoulders to fit. Thankfully he didn't have to stoop too much.

What seemed like hours was probably only about ten minutes. It was a long tunnel, and gave me the feeling of being buried alive. I was thanking the great cheesus that Loki still had his fingers around my wrist. He was slightly chilly, but comforting.

I saw the slight light up ahead before Loki pointed it out, and we both noticed that the tunnel mouth began to widen just a little. But I was the first one to remark on the smell.

"Do you smell...rotten meat?" I asked him.

"Hard to ignore..." he muttered, not pleased. Probably worried that the smell would stick to his clothes. What a girl. Although I shouldn't talk. I had my free hand clamped firmly over my mouth and nose.

By the time we got to the tunnel's end, the smell was enough to make me lightheaded. And when Loki stopped short in the entryway to a small room, making me bump into his back, I made a mad noise through my clamped fingers.

"Why did you stop? What's in there?"

I couldn't see past him, and he wouldn't move.

"Loki?"

He had gone stiff.

Shaking his tightened fingers off my wrist, I poked my head around his side.

And almost threw up instantly.

"Well at least we know what that smell is" Loki said, his voice strained.

The little room was filled top to bottom with books and boxes. I didn't think they had been here very long. The light was coming from three camping lamps set on some of the piles. And the smell was coming from a very very VERY dead person, slumped against one of the boxes.

When I mean dead, I mean obviously dead. Like...bloating. I felt the puke rising up in my through and I started to feel dizzy. Loki had spun around, backing me up against the tunnel wall and supporting me at the waist. I didn't think my knees were going to keep me standing much longer. He wrapped himself around me, tucking me close into his chest and shielding my eyes from the truly gruesome scene.

I didn't feel like Indiana Jones anymore.

I felt like Rachael, who had (as always) thrown herself into something she didn't understand and wasn't prepared for.

I felt like I wanted to curl up in my tub and cry.

One hand at the nape of my neck, one at the small of my back, Loki rocked me a little and did his best to stop me from shaking like a tree in a windstorm.

We stood like that for who knows how long. Me, fighting back losing my lunch, and him, probably wondering why he decided to put all his bets on me.

"If you think this is bad, then I am very thankful you were not with me when I found the keeper of the first shop we searched. It was much worse."

"You aren't helping" I muttered into his chest.

He pushed back a little so he could look me in the eyes. The shadows cast by the lamps hid half his face in darkness, and he would have looked absolutely terrifying, if not for the look in his eyes. He looked genuinely sorry he had dragged me down there. I felt a little better when I realized he knew how scared I was.

"I need to search the room...and the body. You can stay here and look away, if you must" he said, quietly.

He eased away from me, his hand lingering for just a second at my waist. Moving into the room, he methodically checked the spines of the books and opened the boxes one by one. Hands over my eyes, I watched him search, peeking through my fingers.

"How long has this guy been here?" I asked.

"Not long," Loki said, squatting down next to the body and looking it over. "I do not know how long these lamps burn for."

I could help with that.

"They look like they run on those husky-ass D cell batteries." And when he looked up, a little confused, I had to elaborate. "Really powerful batteries. They're made to last a long time. They could have been turned on days ago."

He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers before looking up at the body again.

"Hey, there's something in his hand" I pointed it out to him. Ewww. The hand was swollen around a piece of paper.

Loki tugged it gently free, and read it out loud.

"We know you have the book, and we know where to find you."

Jesus.

"There is a raven on the bottom of the page. Does that mean anything to you?" he asked.

"I don't think so."

He folded the paper up, wrapped it in a bit of tissue he had in his pocket, and tucked it into that same pocket.

"Holy crap, do you think whoever wrote that note killed this guy?" I whispered through my fingers, the horrible realization creeping up on me. "Oh my god what if they're close by?! I can't die today! My fanfic is only half finished and people are waiting!"

Loki stood up, brushing off his hands and moving forward to shoo me back into the tunnel.

"I doubt it. This poor fellow has been forgotten, by the looks of it. But now this has created a new problem instead of solving an existing one. We need to find whomever wrote this note. I'm sure they have the book by now."

He picked up one of the lanterns, and took my hand again, pulling me out towards the exit.

"Are we just gonna leave him here?" I asked. The dead guy was gross beyond belief, but I felt bad just letting him rot down here.

"Do you have a better idea?" he asked, leading me along.

Chewing my lip, I thought about it. Thankfully I came up with a pretty smart idea.

"I'll place an anonymous call to the cops and tell them there was a funny smell down a hole in the lot. They can figure it out." I said.

"Good idea, darling"

We didn't waste any time getting the hell out of that tunnel. Before I knew it, Loki was boosting me out of the hole before climbing out himself, with what assistance I could offer.

In the dying light of the sunset, we both lay in the grass, trying to slow our heartbeats and breathing in the fresh, un-deady air.

"You owe me so many cheeseburgers for this, you jerk" I said, turning my head to stick my tongue out at him.

His eyes were closed, but he smiled wide and said "As many as you want, but I need to get out of these clothes first"

Fine by me. Maybe he would ask me to help.

A chicken can hope.

Cluck cluck


End file.
